For Day 2 of my 31 Days of Vampire Movies, we’re making a 180 from Christopher Lee’s classic turn as Count Dracula, into a complete shitshow of a vampire movie that’s mostly softcore porn, but is so hilariously bad that you’ll want to throw it on for a Bad Movie Night with friends. Friends you don’t mind watching porn around, but still, this one is worth getting drunk and mocking relentlessly.
With all that said, I would like to present to you: Vampire Cop.
Where to start? Where do I even start with this awful, awful movie? It’s low budget trash from the early 90s that didn’t even start out as a vampire movie, but somewhere along the line, some coked-up producer said “What the hell, throw some vampires in there.” And with that, Vampire Cop was born.
The plot is so bare bones it barely needs mentioning. A vampire disguised as a police detective spends his nights hunting and killing prostitutes and drug dealers to clean up the mean streets. And in doing so, he turns them into vampires. Which, in retrospect, only makes his job that much harder, as now instead of hunting criminals, he’s hunting criminals who also happen to be vampires. There’s an investigative journalist trying to solve the rash of killings in there somewhere, and a drug dealer/pimp who discovers what Vampire Cop is doing and decides he wants in on this vampire thing himself.
It’s a stupid movie that’s basically a showcase for boobs and sex scenes and the occasional vampire scare. But like I said, its so hilariously bad that its worth a watch if you can find it. I managed to snag one of a one hundred limited edition blu ray rerelease from SRS Cinema off ebay. Like I said, its an underground classic, and depending on your taste in awful, it may just be the vampire movie for you.